Boarded the Plane

by Nathan Clendenin on January 28th, 2006

I’ve just boarded the plane, a direct flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. I feel a bit anxious and uncertain, even though this trip should be a breeze. I spent last night in Atlanta with Will Brown. We spent the night hanging out with Charley and Sarah who just bought a house across the street from Will. They asked me to do some photos of them and the house, which I did. The main camera body I used is one I got from the Journalism school and had not tried out before (a Canon 20D). I adjusted the specs on it like I like, the same as what is on my own 20D. But when I looked at the shots on my laptop they look oversaturated and very grainy, even at a pretty low ISO. That makes me nervous going into the trip, although worst case I still have my personal camera that works great. It’s much easier to shoot with two cameras though, esp with lots of dust in the air, which makes changing lenses a bad idea. I also feel anxious about when I arrive. I had planned to be picked up by the rental agency and driven to Pretoria where I would have met up with Thea or Derrick, my hosts for this trip. However I am instead driving from the Airport to Pretoria, and I have no idea where I’m going! But it will be an adventure that I don’t mind. I am also feeling more calm now that I opened my bible to Psalm 139:

GOD, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too–
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful–
I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute–
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God–you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration–what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
Your thoughts–how rare, how beautiful!
God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them–
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers–out of here!-
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, GOD,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

God, as I embark on the final chapter of this endeavour, equip me with the knowledge, wisdom, sensitivity, and love required to do justice to the personal stories I am documenting, the beautiful people of S Africa. Continue to foster my relationship with Vincent and his church, and bless the desire I have to make a partnership with my church and his. Protect me from evil, both inside and outside. Bless my time with peace and tranquility amidst the pain and suffering I witness, and allow me to enter a situation and be totally present, forgetting myself along with my worries and desires to become in tune with the surroundings. I thank you in advance for your many blessings, and for taking care of your people in Mamelodi. Lord, you know my heart. I long to serve you and dedicate all I do for your will and purpose in this world. Thank you. Thank you.